“Feminism”.
That word often triggers feelings of hate, anger and confusion. Not (usually) by the feminists themselves, but to those who do not wish to know its true meaning. I discovered that the more openly feminist I became, the more friends would turn and become angry with me. For a long time, I didn’t like them back and blamed them for not seeing what I see. It took me a while to realise that what is so obvious to me might not be obvious to everyone.
Every time I posted something women-related, I’d see a notification from one of my friends at the time. I’d click and see that it was yet another comment declaring how wrong I was about what women go through and that my personal experiences or those of my other friends and family doesn’t matter because it’s all ‘made up’. I could never understand how so many people could ‘get it’, but some, including a few of my friends, just couldn’t. I would even get angry personal messages claiming that I wasn’t allowed to be afraid of walking home in the dark because I expose my cleavage in a few pictures on facebook, or that I’m not allowed to not want to be groped because I might give someone a specific ‘look’ and they might not be able to help themselves. This was highly offensive to me, as it was to men since, you know, they aren’t monsters who can’t control themselves. I couldn’t understand how someone could disrespect their gender so much and make it sound like they were all out to get the women who didn’t behave accordingly.
Thankfully, it isn’t often that I receive messages like those, but there is something more worrying lurking, especially here in the UK, and that is how sexism (as well as all other discrimination) is a lot more subtle. It’s on the internet where people will speak out about how women aren’t worthy, while in actual situations, it’s their behaviour and attitudes that scream sexism. For example, the same friends who would gang up on me about how I’m not allowed to be shocked about sexual assault rates for women in universities on facebook wouldn’t even look at me for longer than a few seconds when I tried asking them about it in person. To me, this was an eye-opener about how many Brits often ‘deal’ with discrimination; even though they might think something, they are only willing to scream and shout online, behind a screen.
Anywho, feminsim hasn’t only shown me the bad side of society, it has shown me the kindness and support of people, especially my friends and family who have been there for each other through the most horrible of times. It has got me through a lot of issues from living with a form of PTSD to a simple catcall. It has shown me that I can be there for all of my friends, whatever it is, as they can be there for me. It has shown me that being a victim of something doesn’t make you any weaker, any less powerful, or even much of a victim at all.
I make feminism a part of my life through activism by using my art, going to rallies and debates, and, yes, the internet. Today, although many people are quick to discriminate online, many who believe in what I believe in, whether it be on feminism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. aren’t speaking up. To quote Malala Yousafzai on this fine day, “When the world is silent, even one voice becomes powerful”. People often think that they’ll bore a conversation if they choose to bring up politics, or lose friends on facebook if they choose to share something, when standing up for something doesn’t even have to be that. Say you see someone receiving unfair treatment on the bus, call it out. Say someone passes a discriminating comment about your co-worker, call it out. Say if a friend needs your support over something that has happened, offer it with open arms, as crinjey as it all may sound. Discrimination is still alive and well all over the world. How many more Trumps can we take? We need to hold each other up.
Happy International Women’s Day 🙂
saratrouble 